WHAT’S IN A NAME? Claiming A Positive Self-Image

Our 3 year old’s imagination is ever evolving and for the past few months he’s changed his name each morning. (Adorable, right?!)  These name changes are dependent on whatever his favorite character is at the moment. Some of his favorites include Spider-Man, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Sid the Science Kid.  The little guy takes on the persona of whichever character he’s pretending to be and trust me, he stays in character ALL DAY, ha! When he’s Spider-Man he’s helpful and constantly on a mission to help me and others.  If I’m cleaning, he voluntarily helps me put away the dishes and if there are kids outside he asks to go and ‘save’ any that need to be ‘rescued’.  When he’s Sonic he’s rambunctious and runs everywhere; he even speaks quickly.   He literally wakes up, and as soon as he steps foot on the ground he says, “I’m Sonic I need to run!” (We try our best to discourage any Sonic play, but our little guy insists, ha!) Now, Sid the Science Kid is my personal fav. As Sid, he’s inquisitive, and interested in exploring how the world around us works.  The other day he asked “can we do a science experiment about how the wind blows water”, and we spent some time in the backyard blowing water in his water table to recreate the effects of wind. My husband and I have realized that with each character, with each name, our son embodies the traits that he has been taught defines them… they control his thoughts and actions. I find this interesting, because adults also make this a daily practice.

The names that we take ownership of or allow others to label upon us, start to form our beliefs about who we are; this molds our self-image.  If they are positive names such as kind, thoughtful, or attractive, we standing proudly in this identification. However, if we’ve taken on negative names such as outcast, selfish, or dumb, those may be what we believe about ourselves. Having an awareness of the names we possess matters greatly. Growing up I remember a family member telling me that I acted like a ‘blonde’; although I don’t believe the stereotypes about blondes, I am familiar with the negative connotation of the ‘dumb’ or ‘ditsy’ blonde. When I would make a mistake, I’d begin to speak aloud to others, “We’ll I’m a blonde at heart so it should be expected”… I was minimizing my self-worth by embodying this name and those around me began to also call me this name (sadly I was the one giving them permission to do so). It had become a part of who I believed I was, and I’d agreed to allow others to belittle me based on this belief: this flawed self- image began with the acceptance of a name.

Have you ever pondered on the names you call yourself and the impact of the words you take ownership of? Think about it, what did you tell yourself this morning when you woke up? Did you say “Ugh I’m tired, it’s gonna be a rough day?”, and if so, how was your day? I’m betting you were exhausted all day, and the day lacked positivity.  For those of you who thought or said, “I didn’t get much sleep, but I’ll make the most of the day”, I’m betting the day was a bit brighter.

Just as our little guy takes full ownership of the names and characters that he personifies, so do we. They become a part of who we are, and influence the thoughts we have about ourselves and the world around us. They impact our abilities to set and reach goals, to maintain relationships, to have happiness and joy…. These names, these words, are not just powerful, they shape our entire lives…

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE:

When we take on negative names we are accepting negative thoughts about ourselves.  Some of these negative thoughts may have a level of truth to them, but in many cases we’ve allowed ourselves to take on irrational (or alarming) thoughts that are not true. Our goal here is to replace alarming thoughts with rational (or reassuring) thoughts. 

To challenge these negative thoughts, I’d like us to make a list of the alarming thoughts and beliefs  that we have embodied. Create two columns, one entitled “Alarming Thoughts” and the other entitled “Reassuring Thoughts”.   For the purposes of this exercise, we will identify no more than five (we want to have an awareness, but not beat ourselves up). Next to each alarming thought, write down a more reassuring alternative. 

Here’s an example of a few of mine based on alarming thoughts I’ve overcome from my past:

ALARMING THOUGHTS	REASSURING THOUGHTS
I’m a dumb blonde.	I made a mistake, next time I will be more diligent.
I’m an inadequate mother because I can’t produce enough milk for my baby.	I can’t produce the amount of milk my baby needs, but we can supplement with formula. This has no relation to my abilities as a mother.

APPLICABLE SCRIPTURE:

Psalms 139: 13-14

As moms we pour into our children daily, and we function best if we have a healthy emotional cup to pour from. (I’ll admit my emotional cup is never completely full, but I’m intentional about replenishing it.) Our self- image not only impacts us personally, but also impacts the way we parent our little humans. If you’re reading this, comment below to tell me one healthy reassuring thought that you have chosen to embody. Join me next week for another chat as we share REAL LIFE, FROM ONE MOM TO ANOTHER.