Not a Fairytale, but a Love That Lasts: Marriage & Love

 

A late period and abnormal cramping… could 2022 bring baby number two?! 

My menstrual is never late. One day went by and then the next, and in my gut I just knew I had to be pregnant. 

We brought in the New Year lying in bed discussing what a second child would look like for our family.  We’d had opposing views on this possibility, but nonetheless, we began to accept this as a part of our future. The next day my hub bought a test, well 2 boxes to be exact, we just wanted to be sure!

I took the test and waited a bit longer than the recommended time before I looked at it.  I needed assurance that it was fully processed; with a deep breath I looked over and saw it… one pink line: NOT PREGNANT. 

Do you know that burning feeling in the back of your throat that’s somewhere between a scream and a cry? Through that pain I uttered up to heaven, “God I wanted this baby!”.  I felt an aching throughout my entire body; my heart was broken. 

After regaining my composure, I walked up the stairs to deliver the news to my husband. I attempted to deliver it in a nonchalant demeaner but he saw through me.  I turned to walk away before my true emotions showed but he grabbed my hand as I turned. I fell apart in his arms.  I screamed.  I cried.  My entire body was hot, tears kept flowing and I felt deep anguish.  Like a grief from losing the possibility. 

I continued to sob and then something unexpected happened: my husband, began to cry too.  Surprised, I looked up into his eyes; we’d had clashing interest on expanding our family.  Why was he emotional?

Then what he said to me next was like out of a movie, “I hurt because you hurt.”

Firstly, I’ve never been more attracted to this man than in that moment!  Secondly, if I’d ever questioned it in the past, this was reassurance that he loved me.

WHAT IS LOVE?

Recently, my mom’s pastor preached a sermon on love and he defined it as “the commitment to meet another’s needs”. 

My husband and I have been married 11 years and together 17.  After being with one person for so long there are moments where you don’t have those butterflies that were once present.  Our marriage has had very high points, and it’s had very low points.  The kinds of lows that have made us question the existence of the love between us.  

It seems that when we hit a stale place, the Lord uses moments like our New Year’s day to show us that love is still there.  That our commitment to one each other’s needs, our commitment to the love, remains present. 

APPLICABLE BIBLE VERSE: 

There is a well-known Bible passage on love:

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

(1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)

Each time I read this passage the words feel impossible to measure up to.  As I meditate on it further, I realize that “perfect love” was never the human expectation.  Faith in God’s ability to perfectly show us love through others and our life experiences, is the hope to hold on to. 

Love in our humanity isn’t like the fairy tales.  It’s not about flowers and candies, it’s about having someone there who celebrates your wins and catches you in your lows.  It’s not centered on fancy evenings out; it’s centered on a spiritual & emotional intimacy.  

We may not be living a fairytale, but we laugh together, we cry together, and feel each other in a way that is indescribable.  If you have that kind of love, whether in a spouse, family member, or friend, hold on tight.  That kind of love is the kind that lasts. 

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