FAITH & MARRIAGE: 3 Strategies to Keep God Central to Your Marriage

Our lawn mower gave out on us last week, or so we thought… The hub went to crank the mower and found it wouldn’t start so he borrowed the neighbor’s.  Afterwards he came to me to discuss the idea of buying a new one or paying a repairman to fix it.  I wasn’t a fan of either, so instead, I encouraged him to go to YouTube and see if he could learn to fix it himself.  I found him in the garage tinkering around with the lawn mower and a floor full of tools. I asked where the new replacement parts were to fix the engine, he explained, “There’s no new parts needed, just a good cleaning”.  What he learned was that sometimes old gas will get clogged in the carburetor and stop it from flowing properly to the engine.  So, all that was required for it to work was a deep cleaning of the parts…. All the parts were just fine, everything that was needed was present, but there was something blocking the gas from flowing to the place that it was intended to reach…. Ya’ll, ain’t that a word??

MARRIAGE = GOD + HUSBAND + WIFE

Much like the clog in this lawn mower, there are ‘blockages’ in marriage that can impede our spiritual connection to the Lord.  In a spiritually healthy marriage, God must be present: God, husband, and wife.  At times, we can fall into seasons of marriage where our ‘flow’ or connection to the Lord gets disturbed.  Similar to the lawn mower, there are ‘clogs’ that need to be deep cleaned in our lives.  We can become distracted with the kids, work, household duties, and the busyness of life and lose sight of keeping God central to our union.  

Whenever we have one of these blockages, it doesn’t only affect our marriage, but impacts the family as a whole.  Our patience with our children is shot.  The words we use with our significant others are no longer seasoned with love and kindness. We find ourselves quickly angry about things that usually wouldn’t bother us, and we even begin thinking more negatively.  These blockages prevent our intimacy with the Lord and His inclusion in our marriages.  Thankfully, getting back to the Lord doesn’t take any ‘new parts’, we are already armed with what we need to ‘flow’ back to Him.  Our ‘parts’ work, we just have to ‘clean’ them.  

3 STRATEGIES TO KEEP GOD CENTRAL TO YOUR MARRIAGE: 

So how do we get ‘unclogged’ so that we can allow the Lord to ‘flow’ back into our marriage? The ‘parts’ are within our grasp and/or within us, these include: the Bible, faith, and love. 

Here are 3 strategies to keep the Lord central to your marriage:  

1.THE BIBLE: Seek the Lord Together.  The Word says that if we seek the Lord we will find Him ( Jeremiah 29: 13).  We must seek Him individually to grow in personal relationship with Him first and make this the priority.  However, to keep God central to the marriage, we must also come to Him together.  This can be done in various forms to include prayer, completing a couples devotional, or attending a Christian fellowship.

Early in our marriage, the hub and I joined a couples’ Bible study group.  This group was amazing at teaching God’s Word and was key to the foundation of our individual relationships with the Lord.  It helped us to keep God central to our marriage and held us accountable.  

2. FAITH: Surrender and Leave it in God’s Hands.  We must surrender our marriages to the Lord daily and trust Him to work in and through our marriage.  I’ve learned the hard way that when I give something to God, I must release my attempt to maintain control of the situation.  There was a season in our marriage where I would pray for the Lord to help us and in the next breath I would begin trying to ‘fix’ the problem myself. (I still fall into this mistake occasionally, but the Holy Spirit redirects me.) 

Here’s an added tip: Pray for your spouse, when we do this we are surrendering their burdens to the Lord on their behalf.  If it’s important to them, then it’s important to us and this further connects the three of you (God, husband, wife) in union.  

3. LOVE: Love Each Other.  The Bible teaches us to do everything in love (1 Corinthians 16:14).  It also tells us that “whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them” (1 John 4:16).  Each morning that I awake I ask the Lord to lead and direct me to love my husband with a Christ-like love.  Asking the Holy Spirit to lead me and direct me to love my husband brings me into a spiritual awareness of God’s love and helps me to extend that love to my husband. Of course, I’m not 100% loving towards my husband, but because I’m intentional about asking the Lord to help me love him, my heart is in a constant posture of love.  Love with intentionality.  

THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE: 

I’m always aware of when my marriage is in a season where we’ve lost sight of God.  It’s evident because there’s also usually a loss of connection between the two of us that feels like a staleness in our marriage.  When this happens, I begin to pray daily with a surrender of our marriage to God’s will.  This week, I’d like to challenge you to pray for God’s inclusion in your marriage.  If you begin to pray and can’t find the words, simply express your vulnerable thoughts to the Lord.  In the moments where I’ve had no idea of where to begin, I’ve prayed the following prayer: 

Dear God, I don’t know what to pray or where to begin, but Lord I just surrender our marriage to you and ask you to help us.  Help us Lord in the name of Jesus.  Amen. 

The key is to invite Him in, He’s ready and waiting for you both. 

APPLICABLE BIBLE VERSES:

Jeremiah 29: 13, 1 Corinthians 16: 14, and 1 John 4: 16

Mommas, for those of you reading who are thinking, “Wow, she must have it all together since she’s dishing out tips”, don’t be fooled, I love my husband, but our marriage has challenges just like yours!  We are all surrendering daily to the Lord and this includes the surrender of our marriages. We haven’t got it all together, we’re a work in progress; I pray that as you continue to seek Him, you would find the Lord in your marriage.  If you’re reading this, please share in the comments one way you’ve succeeded in keeping the Lord central to your marriage.  We’ll chat next week as we continue to share REAL LIFE, FROM ONE MOM TO ANOTHER.